Bitter Resentment
by VaN LuVeR
Summary: 4 years after her return to earth, Hitomi has no direction in her life and Van is alone, but with the aid of a strange person will they be able to mend there broken hearts? or fail miserably!
1. Growing Pain

Disclaimer: I don't Own Escaflowne

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It has been about 4 years since Hitomi returned to earth, for some reason or another she had landed on earth back to the timeline where her family and friends where aware that she had gone missing for a few months. She figured that the last time she returned to earth, when she was back with Amano just like the day before she had left, that the reason for this weird time gap was that she was upset at the time of her return, and that perhaps when she wished to go back to earth she regretted coming to Gaea and so she had wished for everything to be back to normal meaning that she wished none of it had happened so she went back to the time where she was happy.

But when she willingly returned to earth she returned to a worried family. Her family asked questions and wonder where she had been all this time and offered that if she wanted they would ask a psychiatrist to check her out but she turned this down because she new she was fine. 

So time went bye and things went to normal and all traces of her adventure stared to fade. 

Everyday she missed Gaea more… but what could she do, she couldn't go back… or could she? 

Well she…. She was in Love with Van and she new that as long as he was okay then she would be too or at least she convinced herself that she was okay.  

"WAKE UP!! Your gonna be late for school!" 

"ALRIGHT!" Hitomi yelled exhausted as she got out of her bed and fumbled about for her school uniform not aware of what she was doing because she was still half asleep.

She stared into nothingness as she flung on her pack back, went down stairs and out the door with the grace of drunken fool.

She heard her mother call after her "Hitomi wait!!" but she was sure her mom would only pester her about frivolous matters that did not concern her at great part.

Yes it was true, she was happy that everything was back to normal, but everyday she missed all those who had grown on her during her stay on Gaea and she yearned to be able to see them once more.

Hitomi got to the subway and met her best friend, Yukari, who was waiting for her and who was surprised that Hitomi wasn't running late for once

"Hey Hitomi are you feeling okay?" asked Yukari in curiosity as she started to laugh

"Fine" Hitomi replied puzzled as to why she was laughing

"What's gotten into you? And where is lover boy?" scorned Hitomi as she made kissy faces in the direction of her friend. This made Yukari laugh even more "He Hes is in the the restroom" still laughing

"Well you see it's just that you… you forgot to put your uniform on" Calming down, Yukari hesitated and then looked at the floor ashamed, in a way, to be seen with Hitomi.

The first thing that popped into Hitomis' head was that it couldn't be that bad…_For one I at least HAVE clothes on…right so I'm not naked or anything_…. She hesitated as she looked down at herself and noticed that she was wearing a dress that she had gotten from Millerna ….._huh__?_

"What on earth?!?!" Hitomi exclaimed as she tugged at her dress in all directions 

"How did I get into this outfit????" Hitomi wondered as she gathered her thought and realized what she had done

. +* Flash Back*+.

"WAKE UP!! Your gonna be late for school!" 

"ALRIGHT! Hitomi yelled as she got out of her bed and fumbled around for her school uniform not aware of what she was doing because she was still half asleep

_STOP REWIND! Wow what did I do? Oh well now that I think about it I had the dress lying on my desk and so I guess I assumed that it was my uniform how dumb!_

_OKAY PLAY_

Hitomi stared into nothingness as she went down stairs and out the door she heard her mother call after her "Hitomi wait!!" but she was sure her mom would only pester her about frivolous matters

_Now that I think about it I think mother was trying to tell me what I had done! _

**_I should have listened and stayed!_**

. +*ANOTHER FALSH BACK*+.

Hitomi and Van kneeling at Folken's Tomb, praying

"Brother, we've finally come home to our homeland, Fanelia. Watch over our country's future from here." 

It seems like so long ago when I first came here to Fanelia…

So what happens now? Asks Hitomi

"Everyone's dreams will go on creating Gaea." Replies Van

Van hops onto Escaflowne and takes out the energist and hops back down

 "Thanks Escaflowne" 

"Van…" Hitomi said, surprised

"Escaflowne should be kept asleep; my brother's wish was for a Fanelia…a Gaea…where no one would rely on it. I want to see what that world is like." Replied Van

"I want to see it with you or can I? I like Gaea and Fanelia" Hitomi said, worried as she looked into van's eyes 

"If you want its fine with me" van replied sweetly

"Ei?"

"But we can see each other anytime, right? So long as our thoughts reach each other." Van said innocently

"Van" Hitomi replied as a tear rolled down her cheek

"Here"

Hitomi extended her arm out with her pendant in it… 

"Keep it Van"

Van takes it from her and at the same time pulls her close to him, and they embrace for the last time. 

"I won't forget you even when I'm old

I'll never forget"

The spirits of Vans mother and father gaze upon the couple and then Princess, Marlene, and her Husband, the Duke of Freid, do as well and Nariya and Eriya with Folken who is hugging both of them and Balgus is present as well

Van then holds up the energist and a pillar of blue light engulfs them and sends Hitomi back to the mystic moon

"I won't forget you!"

Hitomi, Back on Earth, is standing by the sea leaning on a rail looking out into the ocean as some of her friends chatter in the back round

_I'm so jealous of Yukari!! Yeah! She and Amano are a perfect couple!_

_It's like they were destined to be together!_

As she is gazing she stops… 

Vans sitting on some rocks wearing her pendant

He smiles at her

"Van…

 I'm doing fine."

Van then disappears……

_*****End of all the Flash backs*******_

"Its okay Hitomi" exclaimed Yukari "you can just go **home** or say u are doing a presentation for… for History!"__

But Hitomi just sat there

Sad and alone….

_"Why?!__ why didn't I stay! I should have listened! There is no one like Van, how could I be so foolish!! I will never see him again, my pendant is gone and he probably forgot about me already but I will keep my Promise I will never forget him…_

Hitomi grew angry at her current situation

_We can see each other so long as our thoughts reach each other! Why isn't he thinking of me I need him and I am thinking of him all the time but he does not appear… Sure occasionally I will catch a feather that vanishes or a whisper of his name as the wind blows past me, but when I need him the most he is not here! I thought he said we could reach each other why isn't it working?! I don't get it!"_

At this Hitomi exploded and let out all the anger she had built inside

"GO HOME?!? I HAVE NO HOME!! How could u say such an insensitive thing just because you have Amano doesn't mean you have to make the rest of us feel inferior!?!?!" Hitomi shouted as she dashed to one end of the train waiting for the next stop so that she could get as far away from her now shocked friend as she could.

It seemed like at least an hour before the train came to a halt but Hitomi just waited not daring to look at Yukari. She sat thinking in her own misery and then when the train stopped she got off not looking back and not knowing where she now was…

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Ranting

I hope you liked my first fanfic so far? Well tell me what u think! lol and any comments! I will update soon with the next chapter but ideas are always welcomed and yes you can hate it too and tell me about it I can learn from it! 


	2. Suspended Thought

Disclaimer: me own Escaflowne….OF COURSE NOT! 

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Hitomi was standing in a desolate area wondering what to do next. She had left her friends and now she was alone and had no idea where she was.

_Maybe I should ask someone for help…_Hitomis gaze then fell upon the ticket booth. She walked over in hope that she could find out what stop this was.

"Umm sir….. Where am I?" Hitomi asked a bit embarrassed. 

"You're in the Ueno Station…."

"What?!?!"_ this is not good… this part of __Tokyo__ isn't the greatest…_

"When's the next train back to Tokyo Station?" Hitomi dared to ask

"Umm let me see, hold on while I check for you." replied the ticket vender. "Oh here it is… umm in 2 hours so at approximately 10 a.m."

"Thank You" Hitomi said, as she bought a ticket for the next ride back.

_What am I suppose to do for 2 hours?!?! I am suppose to be in school what are they gonna say?!? O well… only 2 more weeks till school is out so I guess I will be okay…. _

Hitomi started walking in the opposite direction in which the train should be going so that if it passes her she knows its time to go back.

_I guess I will walk off my frustration… this shouldn't be to bad, fresh air, solitude, and exercise… _

"Umm excuse me where is the nearest gas station?" Hitomi asks, walking up to a strange woman dressed in a black robe with blue lining on it.

Hitomi apparently did not notice the strange apparel as she tried to catch a peek at the person's face that was hidden under a hood.

The mysterious person pointed north and so Hitomi turned around and sure enough there off in the distance it was but when she turned back to say thank you to the Cloaked Figure, she had disappeared.

_Weird… anyways…_

Hitomi shrugs it off and turns back and heads towards the gas station. She arrived and asked the cashier if she could use the restroom

"Right this was, let me just get my key… Okay here we are!"

"Thank you" Hitomi exalted!  _Now I can finally get out of this dress although I have to say so myself that it is nice._

Hitomi quickly changes into her track uniform which consisted of Pink shorts and a white top. She stuffed the dress into her pack back and dashes out of the restroom remembering to wave to the cashier in acknowledgement as a way of saying thank you.

"I wonder how much time that took up..."

She starts walking about without any thought put into it and ends up in a beautiful park

"Hmm I wonder what this place is called, it so nice here all the pretty flowers and the pretty scenery… Oh hey… hmm I should have known… Ueno park"… _this place is freaky, first the weird lady and now this weird park. I have only been her once before it has changed a lot._

"Oh hey and there is the Yanaka cemetery! I could go visit Matilda….."  _It's been so long... poor fellow but do I have time to walk all the way over there? Oh I think I will just pray for him_

"Matilda I hope you are happy in heaven with all the other cute doggies and I hope you are staying out of trouble because I can remember when you use to pee all over the house! Well I have to go but I hope you are happy" Hitomi ended as she recalled more memories of her childhood friend. As she reminisces about past memories and friends she starts to drift to her old friend, Yukari. 

_We have had a lot of good times; I can recall the first time I got drunk, it was with Yukari at a club… I haven't drunken anything since then, now that I think about it... I guess I am scared _Hitomi chuckles over the thought _we had fake ID's and everything but I never did have very much fun…_

The one time that Hitomi actually did get drunk she didn't like the fact that she didn't remember what happen and she woke up at her friend's house with marker on her face and the worse head ache known to man. She was 17 at the time that this happen and now she was almost 20 and she hasn't had alcohol since then.

_It is almost the end of the year… oh man then I have to deal with college…what am I suppose to do with my life? Is there anything I have to live for?_

In the depths of her mind she found one reason, the most eminent one, Van

_At least I get to go to the college of my choice, __Keio__University__, not to far and not to close to home. _Hitomi grinned, she will be in a dorm with someone named Dories next year, and she loved the thought of meeting someone new. She had grown sick of Yukari and Amano and there lovey dovey attitude. Don't get her wrong she loved them but as you could tell from her outburst earlier she needed a change.

_Maybe I should major in Business and then from there I can start my own business… but what kind of business, maybe an interior design agency or perhaps a restaurant…_

_Well now that I recall when I was little Yukari and I **DID** want to be in a partnership in a restaurant but she probably forgot…Plus she is going to TU with Amano so she will probably become a lawyer or something._

"Well we did promise we would see each other at least once a month! _(She just wanted to make sure I didn't "run off" like I did before and then have me make up another bogus story about where I was) _but it wasn't bogus" Hitomi said out loud without noticing she was talking to herself again ….. _No, no don't start thinking like that of course it was real! But it was so long ago…. No no stop before you go crazy Hitomi …_

"Hmm I wonder what time it is…." She asked herself to get her mind off of her current problem. She took a look at her watch and noticed it was almost time to head back. "WOW time flies bye when your having fun, it's already 9: 40" Hitomi sarcastically remarked.

Hitomi starts her journey back to the train station which only takes her about 10 minutes. She boards the train after having given her ticket to the same guy from before and sits there.

_See I can take care of myself. I don't need Amano or Yukari I can handle it on my own you hear me and you too HMP! VAN, I DON"T NEED YOU_

3333333333

Back on Gaea 

The pendant starts to glow a faint grey…..sadness starts to consume the pendant and it becomes as cold as ice making Van abruptly wake up. He grabs the pendant and pulls it out from under his shirt; everything is normal.

"Something is wrong I can feel it or… or maybe it's just because I am worried because of the upcoming events" _or maybe it was… no doubt it was Hitomi it wouldn't be her she has forgotten me._

Van then becomes lugubrious and starts to fall into despair. _Oh Hitomi I have tired to reach out to you but it just doesn't work what is impeding me from getting to you… is it an outside force? Are you married! No course not! But she is dazzling any man would be proud to have her… but I have not heard from her for at least 6 months "_all I want is to be with you why did I let you go so easily? I need you! Please hear me"

He then lays back down in his warm soft bed and thinks about Hitomi in hope that she is thinking of him so then maybe they can reach each other.

 he slowly dozes back to sleep, an uneasy sleep ….__

3333333333

Back on earth 

Hitomi gets off of the station and is now at the Tokyo Station when she spots a grey feather as she turns her head and it flies past her which then vanishes with the wind.

_Van…_

"No of course not it's just a regular bird feather… it's from a Pigeon of course!"

She walks home engulfed in thought of the days events…

"Your home early… was it the dress…" Hitomis mother asked

"Yes" Hitomi lazily replied

"Where is it I would like to take a look at it, where did u get it from?" Mrs. Kanzaki asked curiously

"You have already seen it, remember when I first came back all the things I showed you I got from Gaea… yesterday I pulled all my old keep sakes out and forgot to put them away, and so yeah that's how I ended up wearing it" remarked Hitomi "I am surprised I still fit in it"

"Well you as stunning as ever, you haven't changed a bit" her mom said sweetly bring Hitomi in for a hug

"Oh come on mom be realistic…" 

"No I am serious the only thing I would say has changed is you got a little taller, your hair is longer and you have filled out quiet nicely" she answered trying to convince her daughter that she was beautiful.

Hitomi quickly pulled away from the embrace "MOM! That's so embarrassing!"

"Well it's true" 

Hitomi turned away and headed for her room when she heard her mom speak again

"Hitomi are you happy?" Mrs. Kanzaki asked, as she resumed her position at the table with a cup of tea in her hands

"Of course I am!" replied Hitomi, smiling at her mother's concern "Thank you for worrying about me I just had a rough day!"

She ran to her room and threw her backpack onto her bed and went into the restroom to take a relaxing bath. It was the middle of the day and Hitomi was looking forward to enjoying the rest of her day off in solitude, away from school, away from society and away from her regular daily routine.

"Maybe I will go out for a run seeing as how track season is over and all, it wouldn't hurt"

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Yes so do you like it? Good bad? Too much of Hitomi thinking… too much of her thinking about sad stuff? Ionoo or is she just too gloomy... I don't think so but o well you tell me!

the next chapter it think I will spend on writing about the rest of Hitomis day… or maybe like I start with a day later at school and then she make sup with Yukari and tells her all about it…

Ionoo ideas would be great! But I will update soon don't worry so Review please!


	3. Resolution

Disclaimers: I only own what popped out of my head so yeah Esca isn't mine! Whaaaaa

Sry it took so long! I AM SOOOO BUSY!  But its almost the summer! Meaning I will have more time to write.

Thanx you to all who reviewed especially Koriina YOU'RE SO NICE! And sry it took so long to update and UMM Zelda (by the way I have all the ZELDA games and windwaker as well! I LOVE LINK AND ZELDA!) but anyways I am not quiet sure what the main plot is gonna be like I was planning a tragedy or maybe like a get back together with the help of someone ( the weird lady at the sub way station) she is good not bad.. or should she be bad…… tell me where I should go with it cuz like if the lady is bad then like I don't know what the conflict should be…

BUT YEAH THANX YOU EVERYONE! I will try to pick up the pace of my updates! And I think I will switch ya know do one chapter of Cinderella and then one for this and so one ya know switch off if that's okay… OMG I just had a great IDEA! But I can't say anything because iw ill give something away but yeah I will give ya a clue both of my stories are linked….

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The Weekend

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A few days have passed and now it was the weekend, it was Friday night and Hitomi had nothing to do, usually she would go to Yukari's and hang out or go to the movies and on a rare occasion she would meet up with other friends. I guess you could say that Yukari was all she had left. She was always there for Hitomi and likewise (I think ^_^") but they still weren't on talking conditions since the train episode. Hitomi saw her yes and Yukari wasn't really ignoring Hitomi, because she couldn't, Yukari HAD to cheer for Hitomi while she was on track at least, because she _was _the track team manager. But track was almost over, just one more meet, and things didn't seem to be getting better, they weren't worse but they weren't better. Yukari was getting agitated because Hitomi seemed very distracted and so she was not doing well and tomorrow would be the District Finals and frankly Hitomi wasn't going to win in the shape she was in. Hitomi wanted to say sorry but she didn't know how so she was very distracted.

_Wow I am so bored! Maybe I'll go to sleep early so I can be rested for tom… perhaps not I need to resolve my problems or it really won't matter if I got enough sleep or not because I will do the same on the track, suck, and then I  will let down Yukari and make her even more mad! _Reflected Hitomi as she sat on the couch flipping through channels to see if she could find something interesting to watch.

She sat there consumed in her thoughts and plans for the upcoming events that were to take place.It was now past 10 o'clock when Hitomi finally decided to do something.

She got up, Grabbed the keys to her car and left. She got in her 1991, red Bug and drove for about 5 minutes until she stopped in front of a fairly large house that was two stories high and had a slight green tint to it. No one seemed to be home, so Hitomi got out and waked up to the porch and sat on a porch swing as she stared to doze off.

Hitomi could feel something warm and very becoming surround her. She was being lifted into the clouds she was then placed down on smooth marble and she could see a city unfolded about her. It was enormous and there were white Buildings everywhere. 

_Why am I here again!?!?_

Hitomi started to walk around she was now standing in front of an enormous structure that must have been very important. She felt very nostalgic here, as if she was once there. She wandered through the gates of the building and walked up to the entrance. Everything seemed to open for her. She walked in and wandered through the many halls, she entered many rooms some bigger then others and likewise some where more beautiful then the others. She was never able to go through everything or explore anything in her previous visits to Atlantis, so she was very eager to carry on. She reached a huge room which she assumed was a ball room but gave no heed to it because she knew she would only waste time with it when she could be exploring so much more! As she turned around to walk away from the room she was now facing a hallway that she didn't recognize, as she tried to walk down it, the hallway started to twist and she was not able to go on because she felt herself being pulled into dizziness. She turned around in a jolt and found herself on the edge of a cliff. _What's going on!_ She tried to stop herself but she was caught off guard and she was now plummeting to who knows where. A flash of light appeared and blinded her as she jumped up and hit Yukari in the face.

"What the heck!?! Was I sleeping! OMG! That was weird!" said Hitomi as she rubbed the spot on her head, which she had just slammed into Yukari with. "I AM So0o0 SORRY!" 

"Its okay, I'm fine" replied Yukari as she struggled to gain her composer again. "By the way what are you doing here? Do you know what time it is, ITS 3 AM!!!"

"well I came to say I am sorry because I don't think that I could compete tomorrow while we are mad at each other…and I don't want to let you down" spoke Hitomi as she stood up and stretched out her legs. "Look I didn't mean to blow up in your face, it's just been really hard for me to deal with everything, you must think I am crazy and well sometimes I think I am too. But that's besides the fact I had no right to yell at you and I am sorry, you were only trying to help" Said Hitomi as she looked down at her shoes.

"Hitomi I understand its okay! I am just sad that you are not happy, You hide it quiet well but you shouldn't because when you do cover up all the pain you have inside then it just keeps building up until it explodes, so really I was mad at you because you don't talk to me about those things that worry you or make you sad. I am here for you! You can always come to me to talk, remember that! I'm your best friend! Friends are always there for each other!" cried Yukari as she walked over to Hitomi and took her friends in her arms. "I want to be there for you so let me…. I don't want you to be sad but that is inevitable… It pains me to see you smile when I know that deep down inside you are struggling."

"Yukari…I'm sorry I didn't realize that I was leaving you out! I hope I didn't become to much of a hermit!" 

They stood there hugging each other, eventually they went inside after the talked some more. Hitomi spent the Night at Yukari's and the next day they went to the track meet…

"Will the Finalist Please step up to there corresponding lane and prepare for the next and final race" spoke the mediator of the races " wow People hasn't today been an eventful day?" echoed his voice

"Hitomi you can do it! And you know it as well as I do!" spoke Yukari encouraging Hitomi by patting her on the back as Hitomi tied her shoes.

"Well yeah but its rough out there and the sun isn't helping either! It's blazing out here!"

 "That might be so, but just think, this is your LAST RACE!"

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Authors note…. What did ya think? Comments ideas anything is good! Hahah

And thanx you to allll the people who REVIEWED! Sry about the ending I just thought it would go welll with what I am planning!!! MUAHAHAH


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